Hey Guys, If You Hate Shopping with the Ol' Lady, Read This!

[Biker Valley]

This was sent in by my Bro Charlie. I just had to post it. If you can relate to this, please leave a comment or click the like button. You too ladies!.....Tm, BV

Retired Husband Forced To Go Shopping:

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife, Olivia, received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Barker,

Over the past year and a half, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Ron Barker, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15, 2010: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2, 2010: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. August 7, 2010: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. September 19, 2010: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. October 4, 2010: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. November 14, 2010: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. December 15, 2010: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. January 23, 2011: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9.. February 4, 2011: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. March 10, 2011: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. April 3, 2011: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. June 6, 2011: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. August 18, 2011: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21, 2011: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. November 23, 2011: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

[Biker Valley]

Yes, I think I'll put some M&M's on layaway myself! Had to laugh at that one.

[harleyrider98]

To damn funny lmfao!!!!

[Lewis sanders]

Sad thing is, I have done the condom one and  I have done the same thing with panties (thongs for the grannies and granny ones for the young ones

[Dee TSLMC]

lol too damn funny. He just likes to have fun, and really dosent want to go shopping... nothing wrong with that. Maybe that is what i need to do when i go places i dont want to with my ol man.... wonder how it will all turn out......lol

[SWEETEE13]

well  i walk fast and lose  my othere half     lol